imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - I wish I knew how to be happy on my own. I'm only ever as happy as the people around me, and when I'm surrounded by friends and positive things to do, I'm really happy. I remember the last time I was truly happy. It was a night where all the guy were over, and Cody was leaning on my lap, and I was just happy. I suddenly felt like I had a place in the world. It doesn't really matter what I do or where I go, if I'm not surrounded by people I love I don't think I could ever truly be happy. But as time has gone on, I've started to believe that none of that will ever really come to me. That despite my trying I'll always be left alone. I just feel like there is something wrong with me that causes me to be alone all the time. Am I annoying? Am I too moody? Or needy? My happiest moments are when I can sit in a room or next to you in complete silence, and feel happy. Christ, I miss him so much. I'm tired of trying to fill the space he left. 8:29 p.m. - 2014-04-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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