imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sounds Like Funn I don't fully understand why I do it to myself, but I make a fool of myself so easily. And for some reason I don't mind all that much. Because I think there are a lot of people here who love me, and would never judge me for the things I say at certain times. Like things I say to Pramodh, I just feel like hitting myself sometimes. I need to loose fifty pounds. I wish. Right now I would like to just loose thirty more. That would be a total fifty pounds all together. But at the moment I just aim to be the same size as Christina. Because we have the same body time (we're twins after all) so I know what I would look like for the most part if I lost that much weight. The annoying thing is when I talk about my weight to people they all point out that I've lost weight. Yes, I have. But I'm still overweight. And for some reason I can't shake anymore. I went to the Remembrance Day ceremony with Brian, Sam, and Cody, and it was really good. Sam started to cry, and I wished so bad that I could too. It all seemed to hit me, but no matter how much I tried no tears would come. Am I really that desensitized? I don't know anymore. I can't remember the last time I cried. Six months? Maybe more. Perhaps I'm not depressed anymore. Or I'm the opposite. I was talking to girlfriend Ben today, and he basically told Jocelyn and I to relax around the guys. That we aren't as pathetic as we seem. He honestly makes me so happy. If he didn't have a girlfriend, Michelle, not to mention a girlfriend that I'm friends with, I'd probably have a crush on him. Oh, and if he grew a foot. He's just a little too short, I feel. Ugh, I'm so sick of feeling this way. So many male friends, but no interests. I just want to have someone to snuggle up with when I'm feeling lonely. But I'd be too self-conscience, so it doesn't matter. I'll just live my life alone. Sounds like fun. 2:21 a.m. - 2010-11-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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