imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I Don't Even Know My patiences is not existent. I am so ready to meet him. so ready to just fall into a hopeless love. So ready to disappear into someone else's life. Because my own is starting to get me down. I don't sleep at night. I stay up all night writing sad little stories of lonely girls. I sleep all day because I can hardly face the depressing cloudy light. I forget what it feels to be reckless. Like when I was younger. If I wasn't worried what people thought of me, I would probably let myself go. But I find people my age don't allow any room to be human. Always so judgmental, and ready to put me down. I'm tired of living life through other people's lives. I just want to loose my mind. Have a messy confusing time so that I can come out in the end making sense. I miss school. I miss the people, the city, the independence. I miss the friends I have made in the last fourth months who seem to know and accept me better than any of my friends here. I miss being able to cry. I haven't cried five months. It's almost as if I've lost all feeling. I go for walks at night hoping it will come but nothing happens. I want to feel beautiful. I still feel like I am in high school sometimes, surrounded by skinny blondes. 5:46 p.m. - 2010-12-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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