imalex's Diaryland Diary

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The Band Aid

I am so happy to be back. I like being on my own. But the realization hit me Saturday night how much I will miss home for the simple pleasure of being able to hide. I miss being able to just hide in my room and not live. It could be so easy for me to just crash right now. I feel miserable for some reason.

I am happy to be back, but I am also doubting a lot of stuff. My friendships with people, my ability to be cool and interesting... I just want someone to believe in me. Someone to walk into my life right now and make me feel all that I am. I know I should make myself feel that way, but I am tired. I am so freaking tired of putting a smile on. I've been doing it for six years, and at home was the only place I could get rid of it. Now I know why I am so miserable there. Because I don't have to pretend.

I thought I was truly happy, but in reality I've just found the perfect band aid to cover it.

8:40 p.m. - 2011-01-03

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