imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is Good It is becoming very difficult for me to get into the swing of things here. This was expected. I've been gone for close to eighteen days, and things were awkward and distant before I left. So coming back into this world has been strange, but I know in a month's time it will all be routine. I went to the gym today with Jocelyn and got extra sweaty. And extra shaky since I only ate a handful of grapes today. Opps. I am better now, had a sandwich and the shaking has stopped. I was delighted to see that I have not gained any weight since leaving, and I am very pleased with this. Means I managed to control something while I was away. I never wrote, but I finally had that cry I had been searching for. At least, I don't think I wrote about it. It all hit me Saturday night that I was growing up and moving on. And as I stood in my room at the empty walls, with faint outlines of my posters and pictures that had all been packed, I realized how I no longer had a hideaway. That I had somehow forced myself to face reality and make something of myself. At least get onto the path for it. Perhaps, a lot of things going on in my life right now aren't what I wanted or what I expected. But I know if I keep fighting, keep trying to stay true to myself (at least the person I think I am) and ignore all those little ghosts lingering I will make it. I will find my happiness. 4:03 p.m. - 2011-01-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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