imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lifeboat Anyone? Some days I want to speed through time and be my brother. Twenty-eight and happy. Most of the time. But I want to be that age and know that I have some kind of firm ground to stand on. A partner to love, a daughter to shed some light on those dark days. He's made a life for himself, and he will live the next forty-fifty years happy. I know it. Where as for me I have no idea of anything. I don't know if I'll do well at my job, where I'll be living next year, who my friends will be or if I'll pass any of my classes. All I do is work and work, talk and talk, breathe in and breathe out. I have a hard time clearing my head. Unless I'm working out. And even then I can space out and let my mind work. It's especially hard to clear my mind when I'm travelling. I'll end up on a bus for half an hour every time I go anywhere and that leaves me a lot of time to think and day dream. My mind gets so wrapped up in lavish ideas of romance and love. He was talking about exploring downtown, because he's never really spent a significant amount of time down there, and it took everything in me not to say the obvious "I'd be willing to show you around." Of course this memory (of sorts, he said this Friday) triggers this whole romantic idea of the two of us meeting up sometime in the summer and walking around. Will this ever happen? No. It will be some other girl to do that with him, and I'll be with some other man who will be so much different from him. Because that's how it is. 9:43 a.m. - 2011-01-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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