imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Break Free I'm a time-bomb. I'm already mad because I've told two people. Three when I really think about it. I just want everything to become normal. I want to be living my life again. MY life. Not some life where I repeat my parents mistakes. Or a life where I spend day after day wondering what is wrong with me because every day I was told by my mother that something was. I have self-esteem issues. I have depression issues. I have an eating disorder. I an-able people. I have a anger issues. I have all these issues and I'm sick of thinking about them. I just want to live, and with her around sometimes I can't breathe. I can't think. I can't live. It hurts because I can't tell her things. I can't be honest with her because in the end she wouldn't be strong enough to understand. I'm afraid it would ruin everything between us. Things are never simple with her. She's my fucking mother after all. She should just love me, and there should be no bullshit. Things are changing rather quickly for me these past few days. The words that come out of my mother's mouth are slowly turning into rot. My thoughts are infiltrated with confusion. And I'm done with this war. Done with trying to mediate. I just want to run away, and never speak to her again. Tell my father it's so I can live the life he wanted me to, and when I return hopefully he'll be okay. I'm trying to live my life. And the only words I need to hear is 'It will be okay' and 'I love you'. Nothing more. 1:23 p.m. - 2011-07-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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