imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If I Died Tomorrow I just wish someone could hear the words I speak and think and understand. Look me in the eye and completely understand. Just fucking know. The past year has been nothing but hard. My parents divorce, Guy's death, Uncle Graham's breakdown, Aunt Lilian's Parkinson's... I'm not a outwardly-dark person, but recently things have just been pushing too hard. Now all this shit with the guys has sent me into this new wave of insanity. I just want some peace. Something positive. I don't think I've accepted the concept of the body. I've accepted that I am skin and bones, and whatever the part of me that makes me is all in my brain, waiting to short-circuit. But I don't fear death because it comes to all of us, and we all have someone, anyone who is affected. Whether it is the people you're friends with, your family, or the strangers who find your body. All I'm saying is everyone meets their death, and when you do there is no coming back. You will never be the same after death. You will always be a new person. In fact you are always new because as life moves forward you're constantly changing. People really do try to hold on too much, myself included. If I died tomorrow, and I could actually thing about it, I would be sad. I never got to see my niece and family one more time, I would have never told my friends how much I love them, and I would never had been able to becomes the woman I want to be. But I know I wouldn't be forgotten. And I'd be satisfied that though I would be dead I did do what little I could with my life while I had it. 7:57 p.m. - 2012-02-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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