imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lost I feel as of late that I am not where I should be. I come home and feel displaced, and I go back to Ottawa and still feel foreign. What am I doing there? Do I truly have friends, or am I just pitied? I never feel like I am wanted, anywhere. Almost two years in Ottawa and I am already in need of moving on. But I don't know where to, and I don't really know if it would be a good idea. I just need to get this essay finished. And this visit home. I'm going to keep the visits short from now on. This week business is getting to me, I feel like I have left my actual life behind me. Yet what have I there? I feel like I have wounded the only people who love me. I am just so tired of everything. I just feel so hopeless. Hopeless for anything. For my family to make sense. For me to be happy with myself. I am heartbroken. About everything. I've just lost faith that anything can make sense. I've never felt this terrible in six years. I just want to leave. 12:14 a.m. - 2012-02-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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