imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Safety All I can think about is Christmas, and going home. What follows after is a cluster of imaginations on what New Years will be like, with a reality-slap to end with. I would like to move on from this frustration, but his random moments of attention keep me hooked. Steph keeps texting me about how much she wants sex, and how badly she wants to loose her virginity. She keeps putting all this pressure on herself to do it before 2013, and I just honestly don't know what the good-friend answer is anymore. I tell her to stop pressuring herself, and she returns with "I'm not pressuring myself, I'm just so sick of having it - it's holding me back." How do I answer to that? When I know what that feels like? I don't know. I am so out of touch, when it comes to being twenty-one. In the last six months I've changed to some person that I don't mind being. It's safe, and comfy. I'm healing. But I know eventually, in a few months or maybe several, I'm going to have to break out of this shell I've made for myself, and test myself on some, hopefully, stronger legs. And who knows, maybe this time around I'll actually find my way to some safe ground. 1:06 a.m. - 2012-12-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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