imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just Teary Day I missed another class. I don't know what it is about me, that seems to just fail despite all my hopeful thoughts. I get up in the morning, and stare at the window and just go: no. One little thing, like the elevator taking over five minutes to come, makes me decide I will better spend the day in. I know I'm not dumb. But there is always this thing that seems to stop me. Stops me from getting it. Stops me from thinking I'm right. Stops me from even having the confidence to go to school and be around people because I just feel like shit. Like I don't belong there. That despite all of this writing and learning, it's not going to get me any where. While my friends are off getting high-paying jobs in their specific field, I'll probably be lucky to get a supervising position at a retail store. I just feel like I'll never have it together. Ever. And I'll keep telling myself, I'm only human. And I'm the lucky person who doesn't make it, so some other person can. My unhappiness will ensure someone else's happiness. That's comfort enough, I guess. 11:35 a.m. - 2013-01-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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