imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In Hiding I've been thinking. A lot. Like I always do. It just seems like every few days I get stuck in this endless mad loop of thought. Planning, dreaming, hoping, calculating. Wanting. Wanting so much I don't even know where to start. Someone would tell me that I shouldn't want so much. That I should only ask for what I need. But for a person who has spent most of their life just asking for what they need and never anything more, I'm tired of it. I have spent my life being afraid. Afraid of anything that I couldn't have complete control over. Afraid of possible rejection. Afraid that I would be misunderstood, that I wouldn't be seen. I was so afraid, that I didn't want to be seen anymore. I hid from the world, while waiting for it to see me. I need to love myself. I need to trust myself to be able to make it through. Once I do that, then maybe I won't be so scared of being seen. 2:36 p.m. - 2013-03-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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