imalex's Diaryland Diary

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Bigger Than Fear

Sometimes it scares me how much I love him. Or could love him. I guess it scares me how easily I could fall back into the trap. The trap of love. I wish I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve.

Oh they take care of me some days. In their own way. I think because I always go off on my own to get better. Maybe I'm stronger than I thought. Maybe because I do what I need to do to survive. I'll keep kicking and trying until I get what I want. It's the only way I know. I'm too scared of hating life so much I don't want to leave it. I don't know how to let myself get so depressed. I made the decision to never go back to that place, I became scared of it. I decided I didn't want to wake up in ten years and realize I let it cause my life to turn to shit.

I suppose my fear of failure in my life is bigger than my fear of life itself.

2:16 a.m. - 2011-04-18

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