imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Victoria Day Ottawa Victoria Day. What can I say? I've been feeling so lonely and all I needed was to see my friends. And it almost didn't happen. Perhaps because I have little faith and little trust in my friends. I don't like to show my scars. I don't like to pretend I'm okay. So I began walking wanting to cry, then he called me. And they all came. Tharaka, Pramodh, his sister and their roommate. It was nice, I felt like a University student. I love going out, being with people, feeling like I'm doing something. Getting out of my house and living. I need to do it or I'll just go insane. I think I'm going to fall for him. Or something I don't know. Sitting there watching the fireworks was like an out of body experience. Fuck God, I don't know what's going on in my head these days. I'm all over the place, just trying to be creative to be productive to remember myself and try not to question everything in my life. Because some days, every day almost I feel the need to think about the things I've done and whether or not I've made mistakes. Perhaps too many mistakes. Fuuuuuuuuck. Tonight was fun if not a little anti-climatic. I can't wait to see all my friends. Having him stand next to me made me ache. 2:24 a.m. - 2011-05-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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