imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- That Moment You Just Want To Drop Out Let secret love secretly die. Each day passes like a haze. I just do what I have to do get through. I sit and do my homework. I listen to music in a vain hope that it will make me feel better. I put make up on in the morning in the off chance that something may happen and I may have to look my best. I put on that fake smile and try my best to pretend that I am okay. And in a way I am. I feel like with everything that has happened in the last few months I should be a lot more upset. And some days I would like to cry. And i t never comes. Not that easily. I spend hours at school doing nothing. Just sort of pretending to myself that it's where I belong. I can't really drop out now. I'm fairly dedicated now and all. But I need to feel like its worth something again. Because right now the idea of just working is just so much more appealing to me. School takes up all my free time to actually do what I want; learn guitar, practice singing, actually write music. And wandering. I never go anywhere. I've been stuck here for so long I'm just itching to get out. I just need to get out of this city, see the countryside, feel human again. I'm getting restless, incredibly so. I'm just so impatient. I can't wait another two and a half years. I need this to be over now. 9:53 p.m. - 2011-11-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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