imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Scattered Its hard for me to write coherent thoughts. I am bouncing from one thing to another. I couldn't resist and I started to pack my things today. I am such an excitable person, and I love moving, I love change. It suits my nature. It's why I always changed the set up of my room. Or my living room. Never satisfied. Michelle says its depressing to see her things in a box in the corner. I can understand why. But she's always been so afraid to unpack so I never understood how attached she gets. She fears instability. For a woman who has faced her whole life, she's never been good with change. I have simply grown to love it. For all my fears, my observations on how shit-tastic this world can be, I've managed enough faith in myself to get it sorted. In any way. Perhaps it's because I faced with reality a lot sooner than some people I just learned to adapt early on. It's a learned trait from my father. As time goes on I realize I am more like my father than my mother. Unless I'm in a specifically low place than I start to spout her same bullshit. My sister told me I'm a less illusion-ed version of my mother. I recognize my fantasy as fantasy. I make realistic goals to go along with them. I have to. I can't let myself drown. Not anymore. I made that decision when I was fourteen. I decided to smarten up. Now it's time she did too. 10:34 p.m. - 2013-07-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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