imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Little Attention Please Fell asleep on the couch with Tharaka watching Finding Nemo. That was an awkward exchange when we both woke up. I am now attempting to ignore the thumping in my head and chest to start writing this paper. But I keep giggling to myself over it. One second he was telling me all about his stressful day at his new job, and the next he was fast asleep next to me on the couch. I don't know when I fell asleep, but I woke up due to him moving away from my shoulder, and I guess I was leaning on him as well. Weird. We had a good chuckle and run off to our respective rooms. I don't even know where we are any more. Friends is the easiest way to explain it, but sometimes the lines get blurred, and the conversations and affection showed to one another doesn't really match up. But he goes out on dates. He tells me everything, who he likes, how he feels about these girls. He's never said anything to me that even suggests he wants something more than friendship. We're just comfortable. Too comfortable. To the point where I avoid him on purpose so not to give myself more reason to wait. I knew that living together would bring us closer in terms of being friends, and I thought, hey maybe I'll get over him because I see him all the time, and he'll drive me crazy. But the truth is it doesn't work that way. I fell in love with him three years ago, and things haven't changed even though our relationship has changed. Having a cold really has not helped with my mental state haha. I just want someone to pay attention to me and take care of me. It's the worst. 7:46 p.m. - 2013-11-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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