imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Control All I've worried about lately is how others feel, and whether or not they're happy or not. But am I happy? Why is it that I'm only happy when my friends share their own with me? That's a nice thing and all, but I should really be happy on my own. And I was. For a moment. I felt pretty comfortable for a time. And then I let it slip away because of stupid uncertainties that I have. Because money got tight and I suddenly couldn't control myself. I feel like I'm always struggling with the idea of control. I don't know why but I just can never balance things. Money. Friends. School. And I always just cover it up. Lie. Say it's alright, I'm alright. It's not anyone else's concern but my own. And when it's starts to slip out, and people see that I'm not a person who gets things done. This is why I just want to run away again. I want to go places where no one knows me and I can reinvent myself. People can think I'm a strong person again. They can look at me and think "She doesn't give a shit! That's awesome". Because my walls are starting to crack. And I don't want people I love to be around to see the flood. 10:25 a.m. - 2013-12-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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