imalex's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bend and Break I really want to stop thinking about him. I wish we could just have a moment together, where we can just talk about things. I want to know all about him. Where he comes from, who is friends were when he was a kid, who broke his heart, who changed his life, what are his dreams and fears. And I want to know his laugh, and his expressions. I want to know what he's thinking. I just fear all the time whether or not he actually likes me or if I'm just available. He's a busy guy, so maybe I'm the best around when he wants to get action? I hate dumbing it down to that. Because I don't really believe that when it comes to him. But I've never had good experiences with this kind of thing. Nevermind, none that have lasted this long. And it's only been two months. I just want to be able to talk to him about anything, but we still have a long way to go. I hear he's been talking to Tharaka and Natasha about me, trying to get tips in getting to more about me. Which is cute, but also unnerving. Because I still don't know where he comes from, sometimes. Or how he disappears for days, and I'm left wondering. He may be busy, but so am I. I have class, school, the gym, and a social life, but I still have time to text him, hoping for a conversation, a plan, anything - just some kind of connection. I've never been good at this thing. Connecting with people. People don't know how to handle me; I'm moody and pensive; cold and bright. I know my own mind, but it's a mess. And I try to be amiable, but I can only bend so far because I break. 2:28 p.m. - 2014-01-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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